Taking on Challenges: Praise the Effort and strategies

Taking on Challenges: Praise the Effort

Praise your child’s effort and strategies, not personality. Carol Dweck of Stanford University has found that children who view their capacities as fixed (or what she calls a “fixed mindset”) are less open to taking on challenges.

The good news is we can help change our children’s views of their capacities from being something they’re born with to something that they can cultivate and improve (what Dweck calls a “growth mindset”).

How we comment on children’s accomplishments or failures is one of the main ways that we can change children’s views about themselves, according to Dweck’s research. This helps them develop the strength to take on challenging tasks. Rather than praising their personalities or intelligence (“You are so smart” or “artistic” or “athletic”), criticizing them (“You are so stupid” or “uncoordinated”), or attributing their accomplishments to luck, we can praise their efforts or strategies: “You really worked hard on that!”